


maybe you were needed up there

by reject_mikeyy



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Don't read if you're sensitive to miscarriages, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Miscarriage, Mpreg, Pregnant Louis, Sad with a Happy Ending, mentions Ed Sheeran like once, sorry if I got details wrong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-29
Updated: 2014-09-29
Packaged: 2018-02-19 05:02:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2375582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reject_mikeyy/pseuds/reject_mikeyy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It just hurt Louis so much, not physically anymore, but knowing that he was holding something so precious so close, and was careless enough to let it’s light go out before anyone could ever have known it existed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	maybe you were needed up there

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize for any incorrect details, and as always, this is a work of fiction. I do not own One Direction, Ed Sheeran, or anyone/thing affiliated with said people. 
> 
> Title from Small Bump by Ed Sheeran.

Harry watched the steady rise and fall of Louis’ chest get more and more erratic, whilst still remaining silent. The doctor was walking in the room, and Louis’ pulse was increasing so much so that his vision was probably getting smudged around the edges. Harry reached out and tangled his long fingers with Louis’ shorter ones, and he immediately saw the other man relax, almost an instinct. Safe, his brain probably shouted at him, safe now. The doctor was wearing glasses, but Harry could still see the disappointment in her eyes, and he knew today wouldn’t be the day. They had been trying for eight months now. Had Harry not ruined their first chance, it would have been almost time now. Louis told him not to make it his fault, because it wasn’t, but Harry couldn’t help but feel guilty. He always would. Louis had wanted this for so long, and Harry just ripped it away from him, possibly the only chance he’d ever get.

“Haz, pass it! I have to get my practice in somehow!” Louis had called from the goal. He looked so beautiful that day, wearing his red Manchester jersey and black sports shorts. He didn’t know. Neither of them did, until after. Harry kicked into the goal, and held his breath, waiting for the sound of the net. Whoosh, it smacked against the little woven ropes, and Harry grinned.

“Should probably work on that, babe.” Louis kicked the ball back to Harry, and ignored his comment.

“One more, then we get dinner.” Lou said, and got into position. Harry kicked again, rearing his leg back and swinging it through. He waited once more for the sound of the net, but was only met with the muffled sound of hard plastic ball against stomach. Louis fell back, the wind knocked out of him, and tried to recover. Harry immediately rushed over, and helped his fiance to his feet.

“‘M so sorry, Lou, I didn’t mean to hit you,” He’d scrambled on his words. Louis shook his head, bending over to catch his breath.

“No, don’t. Wasn’t your fault. Don’t know why that knocked me down, though, doesn’t usually.” He brushed it off and let Harry help him inside. He’d sat on the couch while Harry made them dinner, his stomach still turning. After a half hour, he’d gotten up to go to the bathroom, and only when he returned, did he notice a red mark left on the couch. Where he had been sitting. He called for Harry, feeling around the seat of his pants for more blood. He lifted his hand and was met with red. Harry came in to find him looking at the spot, at his hand. He’d immediately driven them both to the hospital, not knowing what else to do. It was there that they told him. They had sat them down, Louis in his hospital bed, Harry in the uncomfortable chair next to him. Told him that Louis had been pregnant, 6 weeks. Had been.

Louis cried so much, could barely hold his head up on the ride home, after they had taken his baby from him. He gripped his empty stomach, and cried. It just hurt so much, not physically anymore, but knowing that he was holding something so precious so close, and was careless enough to let it’s light go out before anyone could ever have known it existed.

They had been trying for eight months. The doctor, with her ponytail and her sad smile, looked at Louis, there on the elevated table, torn apart and put back together again, and shook her head like she had been for the last 8 months. 35 weeks. 245 days. 5880 hours. 16 appointments. Louis broke down in tears again, like it was that first night all over again. Harry mutedly heard the doctor suggest hormones to better fertilize his body for holding a child, but neither of them responded. He held his baby to his chest. His baby, that couldn’t seem to make a baby of his own. Harry just felt so sorry.

They left in a flurry, the drive home silent. The radio wasn’t helping. The beginning chords of Ed Sheeran’s Small Bump plinked through the speakers, and Louis broke down again, as Harry shut the radio off.

\-------------------

They tried once more, deciding if this time wasn’t the time that they would look into other options; the hormones, adoption.

Well, they tried more than once. They tried every night leading up to the next appointment. Harry told Louis he loved him at least 9 times every hour, and Louis would just look at him and smile. They waltzed around the house, Louis’ toes on Harry’s boots. They ate Thai food, and watched the stars. They loved.

One last time they sat in the sterile office. It was cold, not just the office itself, but the atmosphere in it. It didn’t seem to be rooting for them. There was a shadow outside the frosted glass of the door. The doorknob turned.

Their doctor, who had been with them through so much, smiled at them as she set her clipboard down. She reached for one of each of their hands, and looked between the two of them.

“Congratulations, Mr. Styles and Mr. Tomlinson. You’re pregnant.” Harry blocked out all words after that, and reached for Louis’ hand himself. They looked at each other, and for the first time in a long time, a happy tear found it’s way out of the overused canal of Louis’ tear duct. They embraced, and stood in the room for a while, arms around each other. The ride home wasn’t silent. Louis talked on about what color they should paint the nursery, and what they should name the baby, and whether they’re going to be good parents. He gripped his full stomach. Harry reached his free hand out to him, and rubbed the pad of his thumb on Louis’ barely swollen belly. Safe, safe now.


End file.
